I’ve Got Something to Say…

What do you do when the person you love is accused of a disgusting, despicable crime that they didn’t commit? What do you do when those allegations, never properly investigated or substantiated, are spread around a small but deeply intertwined arts community like wildfire? What do you do when they cost the person you love everything- their job, their reputation, their passion, purpose and livelihood- and they are ousted from a community they helped build?

And what do you do when they finally choose to file a defamation lawsuit against the vindictive, spiteful person who started such a heinous rumor as a means to get answers and any semblance of justice only a couple of months before a global pandemic started?

Well, with a verdict reached as of this past Monday- I can finally tell you.

I’ve sat on this post for nearly five years, adding and/or deleting bits and pieces here and there when the mood would strike or when there were any pertinent updates in what has been an exhausting and often infuriating uphill battle. There were times when I didn’t think I’d ever be able to post it due to the amount of delays, pauses, extensions, and hurdles that have come with this lawsuit as a result of COVID-19, as well as dirty tactics by certain parties involved. Not at all surprising given what was learned in the discovery process of this case.

But I suppose I should start at the beginning, shouldn’t I?

And also, for legal purposes- because some of the defendants’ friends, family and followers have been watching me and my social media like buzzards – the following is my own personal experience and my own thoughts/opinions based on what I witnessed first hand as events were unfolding and what I saw with my own eyes as it was unveiled in discovery and filed as evidence in this case.

I moved to the Pioneer Valley in the Spring of 2019, although my relocation was planned as early as the Fall/Winter of 2018. It was a beautiful area (it still is!) and was considerably less expensive than living in or around any of the major Massachusetts cities. I was still within a reasonable travel distance from my friends and family, and only had to commute to my office a couple times a week. My apartment, a converted loft in what was a bustling downtown area- used to be a super market and office building. It’s all bricks and exposed beams, and it was a no brainer for my first “solo” apartment all on my own.

But I’d also moved out here to explore new hobbies and a new part-time job as the marketing and social media manager for Paintbox Theatre – a children’s theater company based out of Northampton where my longtime friend, Troy, served as their managing director. Out of all the theater work Troy did over many, many years- Paintbox was his most cherished. It made him so happy to see what a positive influence and effect it had on the children and families in the community. Before he’d taken on the role of managing director, he was an actor with the company- dressing up like Peter Pan, or a pirate, or Tarzan, or a big, fluffy dog- and watching him perform cheesy, slapstick comedy or sing Christmas carols to families around the holidays always made my heart melt just a little bit.

Troy and I, having known each other for nearly twenty years after attending high school together way back when and remaining the best of friends since then- had also started dating again in late 2018/early 2019, so being closer to him, to the work, and to new connections with the people within the Pioneer Valley theater community was definitely a driving force behind my move. It all sounded so new, exciting and promising.

Unbeknownst to both of us, however- a plan had been hatched just a few months before my arrival to excommunicate Troy from multiple theater organizations he was a part of, and the Pioneer Valley in general.

And the plan piggybacked off of the height of popularity with the MeToo movement- meaning many people were too afraid to ask difficult, but very important questions for fear they were “doubting victims.” It was a perfect storm for someone to take advantage of.

In the years leading up to 2019, Troy had served as an actor and then a board member for a theater group called the 24 Hour Theater Project alongside a handful of other performers, writers, directors and theater enthusiasts. In 2018, having started a new full-time job and being involved in other projects (including PaintBox) that took him around New England and sometimes even out of the country to places like Serbia- he wasn’t as active as he had been in years’ past. However, in the beginning of 2019- he was ready to dive back into the work he had loved to do in his own community. It was something he spoke excitedly about one evening when we were sitting at his kitchen table having dinner together.

When it came time to discuss work with the 24 Hour Theater Project- Troy was suddenly left on the outskirts of the group with no explanation, and repeated attempts to talk about what was going on with anyone who also served on the board were met with radio silence or generic “we’ll let you know more when we can” automated responses. It wasn’t until March, after being informed he was voted off the board- that Troy finally found out why.

Susanna Apgar, a board member of the 24 Hour Theater Project and the Founder/Artistic Director of the now defunct Strident Theater- had told the board in January of 2019 that she’d heard allegations/rumors of Troy’s “sexual impropriety with young women in the community.” Now, as terrible and damning as that sounds, it wasn’t until Troy was provided with interrogatories and evidence in the discovery process of the defamation suit that he realized Susanna had actually accused him of something far more serious- a felony in the state of Massachusetts- and something she knew was blatantly untrue but did nothing to correct/retract.

Again, having known Troy for as long as I have- the thought of him being a “predator” or a “threat” to anyone is laughable at best. And had anyone bothered to have a conversation with him about what was being alleged, they would have learned very quickly that it was a complete and total lie. However, Susanna’s e-mails (also obtained in discovery) showed she was on a crusade to get rid of him- and used the MeToo movement as her shield to skirt any accountability. No one wanted to question her, as she frequently used the excuse that she was trying to “protect young women” as her justification for spreading falsehoods. She still does, actually.

It is my belief/opinion that Susanna simply expected Troy to roll over and accept his fate at being kicked out of a theater company he had worked extremely hard for over the years, but when he didn’t- and he kept asking questions and pushing for more information about what he had been accused of and who had accused him – she went to Alana Young for help to bolster her claims and make them seem more credible.

Alana, a former intern at PaintBox Theatre, had a brief social media flirtation with Troy when she was in her early twenties. Prior to that, she had been involved in a consensual sexual relationship with a married staff member at her college- which also took place when she was of age- and which ultimately led to his dismissal when the affair was discovered and her leaving the area not too long after.

When her increasingly flirtatious texting advances were eventually turned down by Troy, she ceased communication, from what I can only speculate was out of embarrassment, until he’d reached out to her some time later to congratulate her on a performance she had been involved in following her return to the Valley. Her responses and their subsequent correspondence, screenshots of which were shared in discovery, depict a woman who is grateful for the praise, perfectly okay with being contacted, and not of someone who was under any kind of duress when speaking to a man who had turned her down.

But when you have the opportunity to reinvent yourself from the community’s perception of a shameless, unapologetic participant in a homewrecking affair to that of a tortured victim, you take it, I suppose. Alana, at Susanna’s request- provided a lengthy, contradictory and factually inaccurate letter about her experience with Troy- painting him as a predator who groomed vulnerable and underaged girls. She named a series of other women who were allegedly victims of his, as well- except none of them were ever contacted or corroborated any of what had been alleged- all except Alana and one other woman- Troy’s ex-girlfriend, Carissa Dagenais.

In fact, one of the women named in the letter as a “victim”, Hayley, actually flew in from New York to testify on Troy’s behalf during his trial- flat-out calling the bulk of the letter a piece of fiction and its author a terrible person (and a habitual liar) while on the stand. She adamantly told the Attorneys that Troy, who had been a protective and supportive friend to both her and her mother leading up to her mother’s passing from a longtime illness- was like a brother to her. She further testified that at no point had he ever shown any impropriety towards her in all the years they’d known each other.

We know that Susanna asked for this letter to be written as Alana provided a signed and sworn affidavit of her version of events via her Attorney. In her affidavit, Alana stated that Susanna claimed Troy’s participation in the 24 Hour Theater project was “under investigation” and that she needed something in writing to present to the board for further action.

Except that it wasn’t. Troy had already been voted off of the board well before the letter was written. As I speculated earlier, I believe Susanna simply needed something more substantial to get people to stop second-guessing their decision to remove him when doubt and divisiveness began swirling in the group.

I digress. This letter, sent to Susanna via e-mail in March, wasn’t shared with the 24 Hour Theater Project until May of 2019 when the group, still divided and at odds, participated in a series of mediation sessions to try and find resolution so that they could work together normally and have a functioning event.

And, despite the fact that he had not been involved with the company for months, and at Susanna’s suggestion/urging- the defamatory and unsubstantiated letter was brought to PaintBox which is, again, a children’s theater company where Troy worked tirelessly. And because it was written as opposed to verbal gossip- it was handled completely differently. Still poorly, of course- but differently.

As this was happening, I hadn’t even had my furniture delivered to my apartment yet- but Troy had called me to tell me that a letter had been written about him, delivered to the Founder/Artistic Director of PaintBox, Tom McCabe, and that nobody would let him see/read it or even tell him what the letter had alleged. Instead, an “emergency meeting” was called where the board members of PaintBox sat down to reportedly hash things out. In order to save the season from being cancelled amid anticipated hysteria should the letter be shared with anyone else, Troy took a voluntary leave of absence and stepped away. From the thing he loved the most. Over a letter no one had ever bothered to fact-check. Written by a troubled and spiteful young woman at the behest of an equally spiteful older woman who had decided Troy needed to be excommunicated from the community he’d helped build. All in my opinion, of course.

Things only got worse from there, as no one remaining within PaintBox knew how to handle anything with any kind of professionalism or even common sense. The PaintBox board referred Troy to a therapist/mediator- someone that had been Googled at random- to serve as a pathway back to working normally after agreeing to sit down with him.

The problem was this person, Rob Okun, holds no degrees or certificates. He is neither a licensed therapist or mediator. He is an editor/publisher of a men’s magazine. He is, essentially, just some guy. After assuring Troy their conversation would be confidential, and allowing Troy to freely discuss his heartbreak surrounding the circumstances, his paranoia since he still didn’t know who was behind the letter/allegation and still wasn’t being told what he was actually accused of, his family and dating history- all without ever telling Troy he was not a licensed professional or that he had known about the allegations months in advance when he was also contacted by the 24 Hour Theater Project- Rob’s recommendation was that Troy continue “treating” with him and take a break from PaintBox.

With nowhere to turn, no one to help him, no answers or opportunity to defend himself, and having been stripped of the things he loved the most- the theater and his sense of community- I watched the man I loved, who was so social and outgoing, wilt physically and mentally. I watched him become a recluse, afraid to leave his apartment unless it was absolutely necessary. I watched him have trouble eating and sleeping. I watched him cry. I watched him cry a lot.

And I turned my back on the community, as well- the one I’d only just arrived in- only finishing out my obligations for the season with PaintBox at Troy’s urging since he still cared so much about it and didn’t want their season to fail. A testament to the kind of man he is. He still wanted the people who had wounded his soul and turned their backs to him to succeed.

By the end of 2019, Troy no longer felt safe in his apartment or in the area- unsure of how far any rumors or gossip had spread since no one had provided him with any information. At my, and many others’ urging, he filed a defamation lawsuit- with the main defendant being Susanna Apgar after being notified she had spearheaded the smear campaign against him and wanting to know exactly what had led up to his being ousted from the community.

And then, shortly after 2020 started- the man I loved took a job on the West Coast to escape the pain the Pioneer Valley had caused him, hopeful that his civil case would resolve and he would get some answers, closure, and maybe justice in an appropriate amount of time.

But, you know, that whole pesky Coronavirus thing happened- and discovery, depositions, pre-trial conferences, everything- were delayed. They were delayed for a LONG time.

The trial didn’t start until this past February- about five years since this ordeal first began. Leading up to that, I spent so many hours reviewing discovery with Troy both over the phone and in my apartment when he’d fly to the East Coast to visit me or meet with his Attorneys. We combed through countless e-mails, texts, answers to interrogatories and finally, depositions when they were conducted, transcripts were received, and they were filed with the court- and the inconsistencies and discrepancies in Susanna’s version of events were glaring.

An example? In an attempt to justify her accusing Troy of that felony I mentioned earlier in this post- she’d alleged she’d “overheard” it at a very specific event at a very specific bar with very specific music in January of 2019 and then immediately reported it to the board of the 24 Hour Theater Project because of how concerned she was. And thus, the series of events I’ve described through now unfolded.

The problem was the event she was talking about happened in January of 2018. So, if there’s any truth to her hearing such a concerning allegation- then she sat on it and did nothing with it for a year until Troy had returned to work with the 24 Hour Theater Project again the following year in 2019.

Another? An e-mail obtained in discovery showed that Susanna was advised via a contact of Safe Passage, a local shelter and social services network whom had also been provided with a copy of the letter, not to share it with anyone, and that it was Alana’s responsibility to contact any appropriate authorities with her concerns as sharing her letter with third parties could potentially “re-traumatize” her if she had indeed actually been a victim of anything. But, of course, Susanna did not follow the advice of trained professionals. She shared the letter with multiple people outside of the 24 Hour Theater Project to, and I’m speculating here, ensure that Troy could never and would never work again in the Pioneer Valley.

That’s only two of many examples.

And listen, I know this story is lengthy and convoluted, full of names and theater companies and dates- and I am doing my absolute best to give as many details as I can without confusing everyone too much. We’re talking five years’ worth of information and developments. Hang in there. We’re almost done.

Troy’s witnesses at the trial included Tom McCabe of PaintBox, the aforementioned woman, Hayley, who was named as a “victim” in the letter and who came to his defense, beloved friends like Smith College’s own Len Berkman, who spoke highly of Troy’s character and good standing in the community and who had seen his rapid decline in health before his departure for California- and even a previous co-defendant named in the lawsuit who had been on the board of the 24 Hour Theatre Project and who agreed to testify for Troy as a means to establish a timeline of events which was in complete contradiction of Susanna’s version.

And the defendants’ witnesses included Susanna, a defendant I have not named as she was not formally charged with anything, Jaz Tupelo- a friend of Susanna’s who actively perjured herself on the stand- and… That’s it. Alana never testified. No one else named in her letter as a potential “victim” testified. And, as much as she wanted to aid the defense as she was close with both Susanna and Alana and had an axe to grind with the man who had dumped her years ago- Troy’s ex-girlfriend, Carissa, was deemed irrelevant to the case as she had nothing of value to offer other than her assertion that dating Troy was awful.

… Despite the fact that she was still texting him and sending photos of herself to him as late as 2019. Screenshots of her correspondence throughout 2018 and 2019 were also provided in discovery where she appears all too happy to be corresponding with him, sharing updates about her life and career, new relationship, etc. This would be the second time Carissa’s testimony would be deemed irrelevant and useless in a trial she was so looking forward to being a hero in. Yikes.

Grifters Gonna’ Grift.

I digress yet again. Some evidence obtained in discovery was allowed into the trial, while other pieces were not- like Alana’s sworn affidavit provided by her Attorney- since she never took the stand and therefore could not speak to it further. But there was hope that there was enough damning evidence that COULD be used and reviewed by the jury when it came time for deliberations.

After over two weeks of testimony, evidence, establishing a timeline and motive (other than Susanna simply being an awful human being, in my opinion) a jury ultimately found Susanna Apgar guilty of all three counts she had been charged with:

1. Defamation.
2. Infliction of emotional distress.
3. Tortious interference with future potential business deals.

There were no technicalities and no confusion. A jury saw through any and all attempts from the defendant and her witnesses to lie, deceive, backtrack and spin the blame on Troy or paint him as some sort of monster- and they found her guilty on every. single. count.

And for the first time in five years, I saw Troy actually experience some relief. I caught a glimpse of my nearest and dearest as he had been before this absolute shitstorm started- and it gave me some hope that he’ll be okay once he’s able to unpack the trauma that came with this entire ordeal.

Since sharing the verdict, there has been an outpouring of support and congratulations from people in the community who either already knew what was happening, had an inkling, or were blissfully unaware of all the details. Although I wish that support had been more prevalent at the height of this matter- I’m glad it’s at least happening now and that more people are sharing Troy’s story as it serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when we let rumors and gossip go unchecked.

As a survivor of sexual assault at the hands of someone I trusted implicitly and viewed as chosen family, I firmly believe in the value and merit of movements like MeToo- since they give a voice to the most vulnerable who may not be able to find the resources and support they need to heal and obtain help or tell their stories. However- like many social, economic and political movements- we also need to be wary that there are some people out there who will take advantage of these movements for personal gain or petty grievances. There are people out there who are grifters and scam artists through and through.

And for that reason, it’s important- and perfectly okay!- to ask pertinent questions when gossip is being treated like gospel and accusations are being thrown around like confetti. Someone I love lost five years of their life to a false allegation that was made by someone who, in my opinion, twisted what was/is a great movement for women and survivors and used it for something ugly and cruel to get what she wanted.

To answer the questions I raised at the beginning of the post- a series of “what do you dos?” You search for truth, you put together pieces of the puzzle as they become available. You observe, listen, and take notes. You practice patience and trust the process and that the truth will prevail over time. It always does. Facts never change. Lies and fabricated stories do.

And you never stop loving or supporting the person who has been wronged. On their good days, their bad days, and all the days in-between. They need every bit of it.

As I finally wrap this one up, I want to thank everyone who has reached out throughout this process to offer words of encouragement, support, and hope for justice. I can’t and won’t speak for Troy but I know it means the world to me to know people out there were rooting for his vindication and have been celebrating the verdict throughout this week.

And as we try to close the chapter to this saga and move forward, I’m excited to see where he’ll go next now that this great burden has been lifted from his shoulders.

Thank you for reading (and of course- I love you, Troy!)

xo

And again, for legal purposes- the above is my own personal experience with this case/lawsuit and my own thoughts/opinions based on what I witnessed first hand as events were unfolding, what I saw with my own eyes as it was unveiled in discovery and filed as evidence in this case, and what I saw happen as I sat in the courtroom.

** An update to this post was published on March 10, 2025 – and can be found HERE. **