When I’d initially sat down to write this post over this past weekend, I truly wasn’t sure if it was something I should actually publish or not. I’d heard a quote in recent years that went along the lines of something like “stop letting bad people live in your head rent-free“, and I absolutely believe that it applies here – and that giving any more attention to such monstrous individuals is counter-productive to my own healing journey.
And yet those very individuals are continuing their grift, and attempting to scam unknowing and unsuspecting members of my community out of their hard-earned money right now – and I would be remiss if I didn’t speak up about it.
Tomorrow will mark a year since Susanna Apgar was found guilty of all counts of defamation, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and tortious interference with future potential business deals by a jury of her peers here in the Pioneer Valley after she both started and actively spread a horrific (and untrue) rumor about my longtime partner/boyfriend, Troy. A rumor so disgusting and unforgivable that it makes my skin crawl to even think about it.
I wrote about the entire ordeal last year, as well, including as many details as I could legally, and using full names as I did – and still do – think that the people who helped embolden Susanna and carry out some of her dirty work shouldn’t have the privilege to walk away from the aftermath unscathed. At the time my post was published, we had been preparing for Susanna to appeal the verdict – fully anticipating the fight to continue for an additional period of time but also celebrating Troy’s victory and vindication in the moment, which had been so overdue for so long.
And now, with a year having gone by, it felt appropriate to provide an update.
Since March of 2024, Susanna Apgar has failed to appeal the verdict – and the full amount of the monetary award that is owed to Troy is due by the end of this Spring. She, of course, has learned absolutely nothing from the entire situation – and has doubled down on her perpetual victimhood and blaming of everyone else but herself for having to face the consequences of her own actions. She has publicly blamed the Judge that presided over the case, the jury, Troy, of course – and our community for not rallying around her and showering her with money, gifts and support.
Prior to the trial, Susanna had started a GoFundMe under the guise of needing help with high medical billing/costs due to failing health for unspecified conditions. We now know that this was a facade – and that she’d really just needed money for her mounting Attorneys fees. After the verdict, she has continued to make occasional updates and changes to the GoFundMe – with each update including a new version of events that led up to her being sued in the first place, and embellished moments she claims transpired during the trial that, frankly – never, ever happened. The evidence does not lie. Discovery does not lie. Court transcripts do not lie. More than anything, the verdict does not lie.
Thankfully, after the verdict and after her being exposed as a malicious, deceitful, greedy and a fraudulent feminist – word spread quickly throughout the community – and it seems as though her original support system and cheerleaders have dwindled down significantly. She still has a handful of her most vocal supporters, including equally unhinged and attention-deprived grifters with their own everchanging GoFundMe pages looking for handouts and people that are completely opposed to accepting facts and evidence of any kind, but they are far and few between.
(when you don’t know what will illicit the most sympathy…)
My heart goes out to anyone who has been scammed by Susanna Apgar leading up this point, and I only hope that more people are made aware of what actually happened as a result of her actions before they open their hearts or their wallets to her. She does not deserve anyone’s sympathy or their cash. She should not be encouraging others to foot the bill for the consequences and the deserved punishment for her breaking the law so egregiously.
There was, of course, some media attention following the verdict, with some articles less researched and/or more biased than other outlets depending on who was friendly with or knew involved parties personally – but Troy and his Attorneys handled it with such class and grace, and I am so infinitely proud of him for holding his head high and continuing to lead with kindness, honesty and courage. It’s one of the many reasons I love him so much.
And I am so eternally grateful for the continued outpouring of love and support he has received from so many people in the wake of his trial. It was something we’d only just started to see when I first published my original post last year, but it has grown substantially, and I know it means so much to those who love and cherish Troy as much as I do.
Finally, there is that aforementioned healing journey I briefly mentioned at the beginning of this post – which is never linear and can never be completed by a set date or within a specific period of time. Some days are better than others, and still some serve as painful reminders of how much damage was done and how much was cruelly and unfairly stolen from an innocent man for no good reason over the course of many long, stressful and heartbreaking years. Tom McCabe, for example – the founder of PaintBox Theatre and whom testified on Troy’s behalf – has since passed away prior to the rifts within the company being repaired, which only feels like another huge loss in the midst of rebuilding and moving forward after the trial.
But some healing has happened, and for that – I’m so beyond happy. Seeing Troy smile, and laugh, and continue to be such a wonderful, considerate, sensitive and fun-loving friend and partner with the biggest and most generous heart I know when something like this could have easily caused him to shut himself off and turn away from the world completely has been such an extraordinary blessing.
He still has his own healing path to navigate on his own time and terms – but his love and kindness to myself and others has not waned, which has made my own path a lot easier to traverse.
Although I do not see myself writing yet another follow-up next year, or the year after, so on and so forth – not unless something that absolutely requires any further comment happens – I hope that the adventures I have and share on here in the days, weeks, months and even years from now serve as a testament to the progress that has been made in the wake of unfathomable cruelty and of justice finally being served.
xo
Coffee & Chiffon 