One of the things I’ve always been so happy about in my life, and maybe even proud of to some degree, is how close my family has remained over the years. Despite distance, life’s unpredictability or even the occasional disagreement- as no one is immune to that- we’ve always found our ways back to one another, have kept in contact, and spend time together whenever and wherever we can. Holidays, birthdays, milestone celebrations, etc. There is always a phone call, a card, a message on social media or a visit/party.
I’ve been especially blessed to have wonderful Aunts and a lot of loving, supportive, protective and downright hilarious Uncles (and longtime family friends I’ve lovingly called “Aunt” and “Uncle” even if we’re not blood related) on both sides of my family. Some have since passed, some live far away- but for the most part they are usually within just a short drive at any given time.
On my mom’s side, one Uncle in particular has been one of the most funny and encouraging figures in my life- with so many insane and funny stories from his upbringing in small town Central Massachusetts, his time in Vietnam during the war, the trouble he used to get into with his friends (including my dad) and the unique jobs and hobbies he’d participated in over the years- like professional bodybuilding and working as a chef in different restaurants in and around New England.
I’m referring to my mom’s older brother, Mark.
I could listen to Mark talk for hours. He could tell a story in such a way that would have everyone within earshot laughing until their eyes were watering. He was quick-witted and to-the-point, but he also loved helping everyone and anyone around him- be it taking care of a neighbor’s yard work, doing the stone/tile work in a family member’s new or renovated home, or in my case- helping me move into my current Pioneer Valley apartment all those years ago.
When my father passed away in 2012, Mark and his wife- my Aunt Robin- briefly moved into my mother’s house to assist her with anything a grieving new widow could possibly need. They took her grocery shopping, helped her with paperwork or incoming mail that my dad typically would have handled, and otherwise kept her company when she just needed someone to sit with and talk to. I know it meant the world to my mom, and also to me.
And when it came to food- no one could could cook or bake quite like my Uncle Mark. Dinners he prepared for our family were an event, a celebration, and I can recall way too many times where a physical altercation would almost occur when it came time to call dibs on any leftovers he sent us home with. His cooking was phenomenal, and I’m so grateful he shared as many recipes and kitchen tips/tricks with me as he did over the years.
Above all else- Mark always supported me, my hopes and dreams, my outspokenness and my advocacy for myself. He encouraged and instructed me to travel, to experience new places and things, and to take absolutely no bullshit from anyone. He adored me, and I adored him right back.
Sadly, he passed away abruptly and unexpectedly from a heart attack earlier this week.
To say my family is shattered and completely devastated is an understatement. We are reeling, spiraling, and trying to muster some semblance of strength to rally around one another and move forward in a world that doesn’t feel quite as right or quite as fair as to have taken someone so beloved to us all right before the holidays.
While we make arrangements, prepare to say our goodbyes this coming weekend, cry and share stories, some of which we’ve all heard before but still rejoice in retelling- I ask you all to keep my mom, my Aunt Robin, my remaining Aunts and Uncles, and so many cousins, friends, and neighbors who were lucky enough to have known or met my Uncle in your thoughts. We can use all the good vibes we can get right now.
As for me? I’ll be back next week to write about the good things I’ve been able to find the beauty in and the moments of humor that have popped up throughout these challenging past few days.
Mark would have got a kick out of that.
xo
Coffee & Chiffon 